To Lilly
by ddsw
Summary: What is love? Is it this? Is Justin the One? Isn't she too young to have a One? Lilly's realationship with pretty boy Justin Baxendale.
1. No Doubt

"We're doing great, we're just right for each other" said Lilly.  
"I know you are, I mean you're both on a frequency that fits right now, and I'm glad you think you're in love honey, but be realistic, this may not last forever."

_I know this is short but think of it as the prologue and tha next chapter will come in about 5 seconds, they're tiny chapters but it's a new writing style, I'm just experimenting._


	2. Deep Purple

Love won't last forever? Is that what she means?  
Since when did love turned from the most perfect feeling in the world to a temporary thing?  
Justin and I aren't about sex or anything as shallow.  
Not that sex is shallow but it is if it's a one night stand thing.  
Justin and I are more than that. 


	3. Kiss

Window shopping with Justin.  
Talking about the last sci-fi book he's read.  
We saw like ten couples making out on our way here, Justin is against PDA but I'd like it if he would just kiss me, once, right here, right now. 


	4. The Roots

I'll wrap around a tree,  
both your hands and feet,  
you wont move til Im okay with it,  
cause I want you to do what I think I need. 


	5. New Order

I've done things in the past and I've been things in the past that I regret, like being boy crazy, or annoying my friends, but at least I feel stable and safe now. 


	6. Senses Fail

The way we met was perfect,  
We used to go in the same school on elementary,  
He was my enemy back then,  
wait... that wasn't so perfect. 


	7. Garbage

The way we met again was perfect,  
he got transfered to AEHS when he got in trouble in his last school.  
He was now a school year older than me because last year his teachers thought he was really smart, like practically a genious, and made him a freshman and a year later he became the hottest sophomore and a student at my high school. 

He had a ton of girls after him, but somehow he managed to remember me from the past, I thought that meant something, and he told me he was annoyed by all those girls that followed him, that wasn't normal for a guy, but he wasn't gay, I knew 'cause I had seen his backpack and it had Shirley Manson's name with hearts all around it, who happens to be my favorite singer since I was 6.

_Will continue writing soon, even if I don't get any reviews, I still want them though._


	8. Explanation

This Fan Fic is basically after Princess Present and Princess In Training doesn't exist here, is about Lilly's relationship with Justin Baxendale. I know it sounds weird, but at the end it will all make sense, Like have you seen the movie Wicker Park? it's a lot of pieces that don't make sense but fit perfectly at the end, I hope this comes out that way. 


	9. The Jealous Sound

He asked her out.  
Justin Baxendale asked Lilly Moscovitz out.  
And It was all around school.  
Lana was so pissed but Lilly couldn't care less, she never had, and now she did even less, if that was possible. 


	10. Hidden in Plain View

He wasn't an insecure guy.  
Not even in elementary school when everyone was having those awkward changes that came when you were 12 or 13, like having zits from head to toe, weird B.O., and those things that tell you you are almost a teen.  
They had had that stage together cause their elementary school, Thomas Edison Elementary went from kindergarden to 6th grade and that's when those changes started coming around. Back then he had wore a weird hair cut, ugly even, but the way he carried it made him look so cool, and it wasn't a surprise when the next week everyboy in class had the same hair cut.

Lilly thought he was a brat and as thick as someone could get but even her mother told her she was sure that a certain amount of jelousy had to do with that opinion. "I would love to be like him. Not" Would scream a 13 year old Lilly so mad she had to take a pillow, put it in her face and scream as loud as she could, an exercise her mother had taught her years ago.

They always fought who was better in math? who could spell better? who had more friends? which birthday party was better? Funny how love and hate go by the hand. 


	11. Destiny's Child

I've know you forever

You've been there the whole time

but now that we're here

I can see things with new eyes

Fate brought us together

and know we know why.


	12. Starlight Mints

Lilly got down from the limo right after Mia with her mint colored Jansport in her shoulder and a sleepy look as usual.  
Justin watched her walking slowly, being surrounded by crowds of peoplethat she didn't seem to notice.  
She went to her locker andtook outa notebook, "English Lit probably" he told himself, he knew her schedule by heart.  
He felt pathetic but that wasn't the worst part he also felt sickly in love. 


	13. The Prom Kings

"Hey dude, what's up?" Josh Richter approached him.  
"Um, not much really, got to go. Have a nice day." Justin mumbled. 

He didn't like Josh at all, but he couldn't tell him to leave him alone, not now, maybe in a few weeks, but he wasn't comfortable in the surroundings just yet, I mean he had just been there a week and he had to wait till he had some friends to do something like that.

and even though he was new a lot of girls claimed to be in love with him, which to him seemed pretty stupid, but apparently to the A-crowd this only wasn't stupid, this was your ticket to popularity, which couldn't be anymore disgusting to Justin. That's why Josh talked to him and Lana asked him to hang out with the gang on weekends at places like Luigi's Pizzeria (AAG) and Francine's Pool party, somehow he always managed to find an excuse to decline, but the day he saw Lana talking to that cute Lilly Moscovitz girl, a shadow from his past actually, he quickly agreed to go to Drebo's (the It restaurant) thinking that Lilly would be there, but what he hadn't known is that when he saw them talking that one time they had been arguing.

_Hope you get it a bit more. If not, you should just wait a little and see how the story develops, it will be all more clear soon, I promise. Review if you want, even if you just want to say that I'm freakin' nuts and that you don't: a)like it, b)get it , c)eat it with chips. _

_That last one was a joke, I think, unless you really do think that, which is, you know, ok, as long as you review. So review!_


	14. Disturbed

"Hey Lillovely-not" said a man's voice, Lilly wouldn't have recognized who was talking to her if it hadn't been for the nickname. "Glad you managed to remember, thought you wouldn't though, who would have time with all those girls around?" Lilly said, talking a little too fast and with a very sarcastic voice. "So you did know I was here!" "Yup, you're not exactly unknown around the school"  
"So why didn't you greeted me, or even aknowledged me"  
"Who would want to hang out with Lilly Moscovitz when they can get to be superficial and pretty with Lana "Luhv may" Weinberger?  
He laughed hard at this one then answered "Well I guess that would be me, I was hoping we could be friends, I mean if you want to"  
"Is this a joke, like did the very thick Josh thought this would be like really funny in his very own stupid head or something"  
"Good, You still have your sense of humor! that's good,and um nope, I hate Josh and I really do want to hang out with you, if you're interested"  
"Well if you're serious I guess you could come and help some friends and me with my show later"  
"Oh yeah, that would be awesome" said Justin in a little too eager way that freaked Lilly out a little.  
"I love your show, ever since I knew you had a show, I've been watching it and I agree with a lot of your points of view"  
"Um, yeah, thanks, Um... I have to go, I'll see you around" Lilly raced for the cafeteria to meet Mia while Justin stood there feeling dumb but happy.

_Hope you're getting it, and well it'd be good if you'd review, keep on reading this will get interesting!_


	15. Kurupt

Lilly wasn't her normal self, Mia and Michael noticed, she was always outrageous and loud, which were kind of vanishingfrom her personality all of the sudden. She had been sarcastic of course and smart, sure and she was still those things, but in a quieter, more introverted way. 

That had all started about a week ago, she even wore make up now! Mia wasn't sure if this was because of a guy or maybe it was one of her social experiments, with Lilly you never knew.


	16. Fear Factory

They were friends, I think you always have to be friends to get to be more, but we're to scared of the humilliation and rejection and we can't get ourselves to talk to those perfect human beings and they ARE perfect, at least for us, at least right now but how are we ever going to get to be friends with them and to move further if they don't know we exist?

They were friends already and both did know the other existed, so what was the problem?

Again with the humilliation and rejection fear, why can we not have such stupid doubts and obstacles? Life would be so much easier. 


	17. 2nd Explanation

This is my second explanation, am I a mess or what? 

V:

Thanks for your review, and you're right this is a little too chaotic but this is just something I do for fun and I don't really have time to plan it all, I normally just write chapter by chapter and see where it heads but I'll try to do better next time, I'm just not taking this too seriously and I don't see why I should.  
As for the grammar and spelling mistakes, well you see english is not my first language and I've seen a lot of mistakes in differentfanfics so I think they aren't as important, at least not in this website, but again I promise I'll try to do better next time and if you aren't annoyed by my many mistakes I hope you can keep reading.

I do get most of the mistakes you brought up but can you please tell me how do you spell acknowledge then?


	18. Acceptance

_Electric Pancake:_

_Thanks for your review, hope you like this chapter, it's a poem one :), Á BIENTOT, _

_ddsw_

Murdered by my victims,  
I'm so different,  
I'm so different.

Guided by noise,  
supposedly your voice,  
that's why I'm myself,  
'cause I'm black and white,  
dead and life,  
laugh and sigh,  
that's why you shouldn't bemy hope.

Really works to say your name,  
when my tears wont hold themselves,  
Really works to Analyze what I see,  
think bout what I know and accept reality:  
I'm sickly yours.

But love is in the air,  
it even suffocates me,  
drugs won't work as well,  
they don't make me feel the way your smile does,  
when I mention I'm intoxicated,  
I know it's because,  
because,  
you're lethal.


	19. To My Surprise

Boris was the one thing I could rely on, he'd make me feel so perfect and as weird as this may sound, I've always been an insecure girl on the inside, so he was my ego booster. 

I took him for granted, I thought he cared way too much about me and he did, much more than what I did about him, I felt he was just a toy to play with that wouldn't never leave, I didn't feel love for him, he just fed my ego, and when he left, for my fault, it did hurt.

Thanks to everyone who has reviewed so far, hope you do it again and if you haven't well go!


	20. The Weakerthans

How to feel weak,  
and at the same time so strong,  
how to feel dumb,  
and stay that way till he's gone. 

You'll kill to die,  
and laugh to cry,  
but you know it's stilla miracle.

You know you're in,  
and it's too deep cause it feels different,  
is this pain what they call love?

Why have I been feeling so weird ,  
I bet a masochist personality is developing inside me,  
or maybe it's been there all along,  
The thing is, why do I feel like I'm stalking J.B. and why do I feel like someone is stabbing me when he walks in the hall surrounded by girls, including Lana, whp by the wayismore beautiful than I am, he clearly loves her, right?

This isn't masochism, this is plain dumbness of my part.

_J.B. Justin Baxendale, Review!_


	21. The Futureheads

You know, if the boy my hormones seem so fond of told me he loved me,  
I wouldn't buy it, I'll make him swear it a 1000 times and promise me it wasn't a dare 5000 before I told him I do too. 

I'm insecure and when it comes to him I'm a lot more, but if I did that, make him swear and promise I mean, he'd already know what I feel and then if it really was a dare from his pathetic friends they would laugh at me even if I didn't say me too, this is very complicated, especially when you're a secret humilliation-phobic like myself.

If he does that, which he obviously won't 'cause all this is just coming from my hyper and over-imaginativebrain, I would just ignore him, then at leasthis friendswouldn't laugh at me if it turned out to be a dare, they'd laugh at him, and I don't think I like that either.

Shot me.


	22. Kings of Convenience

It's Saturday, I love Saturdays because I'm free to stay in my PJ's all day and the only thing that reminds me of school is Mia coming over, not that she comes to visit me anymore, she comes to visit my brother, Michael, he's her perfect guy (thanks to me, after all the who gave him the lessons on how to treat a lady and told him when he was being a jerk?) so she's been putting me aside a lot lately, I'm not jealous though, they're perfect for each other, I'm jealous of what the have, their love, where's my perfect man anyway? 

---------------------------------------------------------------------

_Remember this is all Lilly's POV:_

**Saturday 2:09 PM, My Appartment**

I'm really hungry today, I've been eating so much I don't know if my legs will still be able to carry me around when I get up this couch, if I ever do that is.

Here's the list of what I've eaten so far (don't be scared:  
-Breakfast:  
Eggs ,Bacon, Pancakes, Juice, Fruit andCereal

Then I had some Cheetos that left my fingers orange.  
-Lunch:  
a slice of cheese pizza, a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, milk, some left-over pancakes anda hot chicken wing

And then I had a bowl of cookies and cream ice cream and some more Cheetos.

I swear that if I wasn't a virgin I would think I'm pregnant, I don't even like dairy products that much anyway!

I think I'm going to take a nap now, I'm so tired, I don't know why though, I shouldn't be since I woke up at 11:30 am today but I am so tired I don't even care.

6 minutes later...

Riiiing! (doorbell)

(She starts standing up)

Thoughts:

-I guess it's time to see if my legs can still carry me around.  
-Who can be at the door at 3:00 PM if no one is home but me given the fact that my mom is in the gym, my dad is in some emergency therapy with a patient and my brother is in a computer club meeting, who would be looking for me?  
-I have my oldest PJ's on which are an old Bee Gees concert tee with holes that used to be my dad's and red squared sort of Scottish flannel pants.

I'm going to open the door anyway but let me tell you that I curse the day the bastard that dared to wake me up and disturb me on my free Saturday when I'm supposed to rest was born...

(opens the door and sees Justin)

Okay, maybe not (maybe I don't curse that day)

_I updated ! Hope you like it._


	23. A Perfect Circle

_Thanks for your review writersblock666, everything will get clearer within the next 10 chapters (at least I think) because I began at the middle of the story and then went back to the first part (that's why they are just meeting now) but I think I'm almost getting to the part where I started it, I'm not sure though, you'll have to keep reading to find out ( ;._

_This is a conversation chapter._

Justin: Hey Lilly, sorry to bother you on a Saturday but I have to ask you something.  
Lilly: You're forgiven, what is it?  
Justin: Well... the thing I've been meaning to ask you is...

**(Michael gets out of the elevator holding a laptop interrupting them)**

Michael: Hey Lilly, who's your victim today?  
Lilly: What do you care loser?

**(Justin turns his head getting a surprised look from Michael)**

Michael: Justin Baxendale! Didn't know you two were friends, I mean not since your weird crush on each other back in the 6th grade, or was it the 5th grade?

**(Lilly blushes)**  
Justin: Yeah, I know we had the weirdest of the relationships back then, and actually were not friends...

**(Lilly gets a sad face for a second and then switches it to a completely cold unreadableone)**

Justin continues: but that's what I came for, as I told you the other day Lilly, I want to be your friend and that's why I came, I want to ask you to go to Chinatown Ice Cream Factory with me and maybe we can get to know each other better.

**(Lilly blushes again)**

Michael: Come on Lilly, that ice cream factory is delicious, you should accept immediately before Justin sees your outfit and removes the invitation, I mean looking like that might even get you arrested.

**(Lilly remembers what she's wearing and freaks out quietly)**

Justin: Well I actually didn't mean it for now, I meant today at seven, if you're free and if you want to...

Lilly: Yeah, that's good for me.

Justin: It's settled then, I'll come at seven and that way you have time to...change?

**(Lilly just nods)**

Justin: You look pretty, it's just that I think you're brother's right, we might get arrested at least by Joan Rivers.

Michael: He's complementing you when you look like hell and has a sense of humor, I bet he's a keeper.

Lilly: Shut up Michael, I know you're in love with the sound of your voice but keep it to yourself.

Justin: (Laughs and whispers) I'll see youlater Lillian.

**(Justin climbs the elevator leaving a very amazed Lilly behind)**

_Hope you enjoy it! Review!_


	24. Bright Eyes

Time: 6:30 Music: The 'Feel Good' Revolution by Bright Eyes 

Top ten things of stuff that every girl should know about getting ready but I don't (or didn't) because I was born without the gene that lets you have enough common sense to know it:

10. High heels can be dangerous. (ended up wearing my purple vans)  
9. Lip gloss is sticky and hard to use. (ended up wearing my Tootsie Roll lip balm instead)  
8. Your skin mustn't touch your ion hair straightener when it's hot (I don't think my ear will ever recover but my hair looks good, is it worth it)  
7. You have to be extremely careful not to get the mascara anywhere but in your eyelashes because you might end up with a black spot in your forehead.  
6. You have to make sure the thing you are grabbing is your perfume and not your father's eye glass cleaner (It smells funny and now I do too)  
5. In blush less is more (otherwise you'll look like a tomato)  
4. Tweezing your eyebrows Painful.  
3. Don't wear too big earrings unless you want to kill your ears. (My ears hate me)  
2. Shave carefully unless you want to bleed. (that's what I get when for wanting to wear a short skirt)  
1. Don't buy a sleeveless (slightly) cleavage revealing black top (in my defense I bought it for my Ramones paraphernalia collection) if you don't feel comfy in it because your mother and best friend will talk you into wearing it and even though your father, your brother and your date will compliment you on it you'll feel weird the whole time.

_I tried this as a tribute for AAG (I wish they would make a forum for writing fanfics about Sam, don't you?) but I'll never be making any more top ten lists in my fictional worlds ( I make a lot in real life, I wrote them before I read AAG and still do) It's too hard to come up with them (the fictional ones). Enjoy and Review!_


	25. The Sounds

So confusing, in this urban side,  
intimidating my inner kinds,  
my outer ones are frozen to death,  
in this path filled with flowing traffic,  
in such a sick way.

The way we know nothing about those,  
only together or unless we're face to face,  
with us, with them,  
you know nothing,  
but you amaze with such wisdom,  
my hair is growing,  
my life is going,  
and I think I was clever before I knew stuff,  
I thought I could do more before I knew you. 


	26. The Smiths

We didn't go to Chinatown, We went to this really fancy restaurant I read about in my parents NYC dance and dine guide (yup it was a dancing place), I guessed we weren't in for ice cream the moment I opened the door and noticed he was wearing this dark gray tuxedo with a dark green tee of The Smiths below (his shirt was unbuttoned) and some flowers in his hand. Lilies incidentally.

-Hello Justin, Wazzup?  
(I practiced 3 hours in the mirror and it still sounded dumb)  
-Hey Lilly, You look amazing.  
-Uh...Um, thanks.  
-Are your parents home?  
-Uh-huh, why?  
-I thought I'd meet them, I mean I already do, kind of.  
-When? Where? Why?  
-School events at prep school?  
-Oh right, but why would you want to meet them?  
-Because I want the parents of the girl who I'm taking on a date to know the guy who's taking their daughter out?  
-Uh.  
-It will be fast and I'll try to be cool.  
-I'm not worried about you. It's them.  
-I'm sure they're cool, you just can't see it 'cause you live with them.  
-If you insist, just don't say I didn't warn you.  
-I won't.  
-And don't blame me if they say embarrassing stuff.  
-So where are they? 


	27. Bloc Party

_**I'M BACK!**_

* * *

The date had been out of the ordinary.  
Awesome? Yes  
Weird? Yes  
Magical? Yes, yes and yes! 

Lilly couldn't quite explain it, it was just a feeling that made her feel so good but also very sick. She knew that if she got distracted she could let herself go but she was afraid she wouldn't know how to get herself back.

After the meeting her parents which had gone surprisingly good (he gave flowers to her mom and talked about recent events with her dad and brother) they had gone to the fancy and expensive restaurant otherwise known as "Le Cirque", she really didn't like it from the moment they got inand it probably showed because Justin immediately asked if she wanted to leave.She said yes after doubting it for fear it would be too rude, and they went back to the subway. Iknow...awkward. It just wasn't going as planned, not that she had any plans or expectations boutthis date... or at least she wouldn't admit it.

Where to go? They couldn't go skating, Lilly wasn't appropriately dressed for that and they didn't have their skateboards with them. And suddenly she knew what she wanted to do, but would he agree?  
-"I know, I could... kind of...interview you for Lilly Tells it Like it is, I mean if you want to, cuz if you don't we could do something else, never mind let's think of something else."  
but when he said that it sounded alright and that it could be fun, they got started.

Yep, an interview on a moving subway, she had her video cam with her so she just took it out.  
It was her chance to know him, she was so much more her real self with a camera in her hands.

* * *

"Lilly Tells It Like It Is"  
Episode #342  
Segment 3 

L: Hello my precious viewers, today I'm here in the subway with AEHS' very own heartthrob, Justin Baxendale.  
J: Um... Heartthrob?  
L: Say Hello.  
J: Hello? Lilly don't we need like... scripts?  
L: No, we improvise. It's better this way. Now, tell us, what are your dreams?  
J: Are you sure this is the right way?  
L: Sure I am, I mean if you're not comfortable we can stop, do you want to stop!  
J: No... I dunno, should we?  
L: I'll ask, you'll listen and answer honestly. Is that too hard?  
J: No, I guess not.  
L: Ok, let's begin then. Tell us about what you want for the future.  
J: I guess I want a successful life... love, a high financial status, happiness.  
L: How would you describe yourself?  
J: I think I am more of a loner, I feel fine with the way I am, I'm genuine.  
L: What can you tell us bout the life you have?  
J: I like my life, I have everything I need.  
L: This isn't working, let's talk about something else.  
J: Like what?  
L: Tell us something, anything. What is it that you really want, What do you dream at night? What is your biggest fear? Tell us something deep.  
J: (spoken not sung) I can't eat, I can't sleep, I can't sleep, I can't dream, an aversion to light, got a fear of the ocean.  
L: Weird...  
J: I figured your precious viewers were getting bored.  
L: I said it was weird, that doesn't mean fun.  
J: Are you being mean to me Lilly Moscovitz?  
L: I'm being honest.  
J: Well then...  
He took the camera away from her hands.  
J: Be honest now, What do you want?  
L: What do I want from what?  
J: From life, love, yourself, me.  
L: I want to be happy.  
J: I could make you happy.  
L: Hmm?  
J: I want to make you happy, do you want me to make you happy? Do you want me?  
L: I don't know what I want.  
J: I think you do, you want happiness. I'm offering you happiness, why don't you take what you want?  
L: I am afraid.  
J: You shouldn't, or maybe you should, I'm afraid too but I have this feeling something good's coming and I won't let my fear get in the way. Will you let yours?  
L: I don't know.  
J: Take my hand...

* * *

They waited a few minutes and the subway finally got to a station. They didn't know where, they didn't care. They got out holding hands and started walking down the street. There was some weird music playing, there was a celebration of something. The music was very tropical, the air smelled different. They talked for a while and then Lilly feeling very unlike herself kissed him.  
A strong kiss, a kiss that made her feel absorbed, it made her feel like she was underneath the ocean but like she was flying also. Later they danced and she grinned the whole time. 

-"See I told you I would make you happy"


End file.
